T h e S T R E A M :
Motherhood: The impact of a weekend away
Being a mom has become my identity. And as much as I’ve tried to hold true to even a part of my former self, I still feel naked when I go to the grocery store alone. I’ve learned to Skype, take a conference call, cook dinner, pee and shower with a child literally attached to me. Motherhood has consumed nearly every inch of my heart and soul. And while I love my three babies fiercely, I desperately needed to learn to find space again for all the other things that make me who I am.
So I booked a weekend away with my two best girlfriends. Time at the spa, order-in food and wine seemed like the perfect remedy to rediscover the girl who’s gotten buried under piles of laundry, grocery lists, potty training sticker charts and preschool drop-offs.
After weeks of looking forward to this weekend, I packed my bag free of diapers, onesies and blankies gleefully. But the moment before I walked out the door alone, I wanted nothing more than to join my family at the table for boxed macaroni and cheese followed by a Netflix marathon of Daniel Tiger. My husband had to literally push me out the door.I felt guilty and sad about leaving. What if I missed Olive’s first steps? What if Ada had a bad dream and needed her momma? What if James couldn’t find his lovie before bedtime? All these daily worries that had grown to consume me I had also grown to love. Nevertheless, I walked out the door.
SURROUNDED BY GREATNESS
As we settled into our cabin, we made our plans for the following day. Yoga at 9, then a big breakfast full of bacon, fruit and homemade granola, followed by an hour at the spa. I had to literally pinch myself. And the yoga, the breakfast and the spa were amazing. Perfect, even! But, even better, was sitting on the couch with my best girls, talking. For hours. I sat there, surrounded by these incredible, strong, beautiful women and realized that being in their presence was making me a better woman. I had no idea how much I missed my home team until I was lucky enough to sit with them and just be me. Not a mom. Not a wife. Not a business owner. Me! And that was enough.
I HAD BRAIN POWER
Toddlers ask so. many. questions. It’s like rapid fire, one after the other after the other. Walking back to our cabin from the spa, I stopped and gazed at the snow-covered trees. I inhaled the smell of woodsmoke from a nearby fire. My girlfriends laughed at me. Even though my days at home are filled with wonder and amazement, having a moment to truly appreciate my surroundings stopped me in my tracks.
Stepping away gave me a new perspective and energy to see my life for the beauty it has become. Full of sticky high chairs, reoccurring ear infections, made-up songs, and bedtime tuck-ins.
But it also made me realize that I need to hold close the women who make me stronger, more confident, and love me no matter what. Having them in my life is a gift that I need to make time for and continue to nurture those friendships.